Apples and wrenches

I'm writing this letter right now to clergy at local houses of worship, asking them to collaborate with our agency on two of our programs that have absolutely ZERO overlap. None. Not one single thing to do with each other.

Basically, nobody wanted to write the letter. So instead of two people writing two letters that they didn't want to write, they are having me write one letter that I don't want to write that will make no sense.

Dear Clergyman John,

We are writing to find out if you would like to buy some apples.

Also, would you like to buy some wrenches?

Love,

John Doe & Jane Smith
Doe Apples & Smith Wrenchworks

When you try to kill two birds with one stone, you usually miss both birds.

P.S. I wrote the letter and sent it to Mr. Doe and Ms. Smith. Mr. Doe wrote back shortly thereafter saying this letter looks fine and we can send it out as far as Doe Apples is concerned.

Ms. Smith, my superivsor, still hasn't written back. She won't until the absolute last possible second before the letter has to go out. Then she can give me a directive with the word "immediately" in it. It makes both of our lives more exciting.

I will continue to hold my breath...