Cumber

Sometimes when I go out, but never at work, I stuff my pants with a seedless English cucumber. You know, the 18 incher wrapped in cellophane. I do it just to see the reactions I get. Some people, when I talk to them, they just stare at my crotch with no shame. Other people try to discreetly steal a glance, but I always catch them. The odd thing is that it is usually guys who stare. It must be a guy thing.